Family Medicine: Pain is a Ten Point Game

Pain Pseudo-Factoids from a prescription pad holder (physician):

1.  No Brain, No Pain

2.  Pick the right parents, or have more pain (and more risks with opiates- for dependency, misuse or abuse)

3.  If your pain is a ten out of ten and you are not writhing, doctors won't believe you

4.  If your pain is an eight out of ten and you grimace, doctors will probably believe you (see migraine exception #7 and Fibromyalgia Factoid #13)

5.  If you get IV Morphine or Dilaudid in the ER and your pain loses 4 points or more (e.g., 8/10 drops to 4/10 or less) and you so state, doctors will usually believe you (if you say "thank you" to the doctor)

6.  If your pain is a six, you should get at least 2-4 points less with hydrocodone/acetaminophen (Vicodin type generic), surprisingly to opiate fans- Ibuprofen 800 mg has equal pain killing potential for those who picked the right parents (see #2)

 7.  If you have migraine headaches (who decided to use the word ache instead of pain?, by the way made a huge mistake) and smile when you tell the doctor your pain is an eight, they will believe you if they or a close relative have migraines

8.  If you require huge amounts of dental "numbing" injections when you have a filling at your dentist, you may have picked the wrong parents (see #2)

9.  If your pain is a four in the doctor's office and a six at work or while carrying your baby, inform your doctor of the pain level variances to help them understand your pain range.

10.  Pain never stays at the same level continuously in the medical world.  If you give a doctor a range for your pain variation, you are speaking our language and we hear you better.

11.  At every doctor visit for chronic painful conditions, be prepared to deliver your pain numbers on a scale of 0-10, which more and more has to be written into any note that involves prescriptions of opiates and other pain killers.

12.  The fear of the pain may be equal to or greater than the impact of the pain on the pain sensations.

13.  If you have Fibromyalgia, 50-75% of physicians will be confused about how to respond to your pain  comments. (it used to be 99%)

14.  Blogging about conditions that include a chronic pain element helps the medical community to get a better understanding of what  life and activities are like with chronic pain. Thanks to all you bloggers with chronic painful conditions.