Saturday, November 22, 2014

Chicken Pox, Vioxx and Goldilocks - The Song

Healthcare Healthcare Everywhere                     by Pat Jonas, MD

Chicken Pox, Vioxx and Goldilocks- Healthcare Just for you
A shot, a drug and a fairy tale, it’s just like a zoo
And if you have insurance, you won’t pay the bill
Just go into CVS, you can get your fill

     Healthcare, healthcare everywhere, more than what we need
     Cat scans, ER’s, MRI’s, Chemo used like tea
     More is better, “Let’s be sure”, “You’re a friend of mine.”
     Let me see your wrist ID to bill you one more time.

Barcode reader in my hand leads to good health care
Patients lying in the bed will notice that I’m there
“Yes! A nurse someone who cares, perhaps I won’t be killed”
“OK, I can hear your cares, after you’ve been billed”

Family Doctor, what is that? Someone we don’t need.
ER, that’s the place to go when I start to bleed
Just bill my insurance, please, for more and more health care
Co-pay’s all I need to pay for everything that’s there.

I recently gave a talk titled "Chicken Pox, Vioxx and Goldilocks:  Avoiding Avoidable Care" at the Institute of Holistic Leadership Annual Symposium (see previous blog post with that title).  Included was this song which we sang together.  Just a spoof on some aspects of healthcare.  The tune is similar to the Mr. Clean song (but not quite).  Enjoy.

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